Ethics and Humilities: A virtue of true leaders is humility. We need more of this kind of ethical maturity.

Over the past month, I’ve been privileged to visit more than five universities and speak with several hundred students and faculty about ethics and ethics education. No matter the size of the group or the announced topic, at some point the question was asked: What did you think about the hearing for Judge—now Justice—Kavanaugh? Did he do it (it doesn’t matter)? Should we really be held responsible for things we did 30 years ago (maybe)?

What disappointed me as the hearing unfolded was that Justice Kavanaugh missed an opportunity to demonstrate moral courage and ethical maturity. The question for me was not whether the event described by Dr. Ford actually happened—the Senate hearing was not a court of law. The question was about Justice Kavanaugh’s character and judicial temperament. As he became defensive and combative, he failed the test.

In my perfect world, he would have said something like this: “I don’t remember the event Dr. Ford described, and I don’t remember ever engaging in that kind of behavior. However, I do know that in high school and college, I abused alcohol and was cavalier in my treatment of women. Since then, I have dealt with residual substance abuse issues and have changed the way that I treat women and others without voice or power. If I hurt anyone by my behavior in the past, I am really sorry. I have worked—and promise to continue to work–diligently so that doesn’t happen again.”

Moral courage includes reflecting on our behavior and admitting when we are wrong. That reflection provides a space for humility. Ethical maturity includes noticing that over the course of a lifetime people change. And that acknowledgement gives all of us the space for forgiveness and grace.

So, should we hold people accountable for what they do in college? Maybe. In many situations, we already hold people accountable for their actions in their youth. For example, people who were incarcerated for a drug-related offense or were subject to an involuntary civil commitment for a sexual offense, find their eligibility for financial aid for college limited, even after release. Those found guilty for financial misconduct or other crimes and infractions find their opportunities for employment and ability to participate in civic life limited—sometimes for a lifetime.

And, as the #MeToo Movement has shown, men in power can be held accountable for acts of sexual harassment and violence that took place decades ago. At this writing, more than 200 executives have lost their positions because of accusations of sexual misconduct arising over the past year or so, even if those accusations did not result in convictions. Actions do have consequences.

Perhaps the greatest virtue of true leaders is humility. Each of us has a past—actions and behaviors that we wish we could expunge from our record but are part of our own story. We can, however, acknowledge that our ethical self includes both the ability to act from our core values as well as from our ethical blind spots. We can notice that often ambition, fear, or anger causes us to stumble. As we reflect on our past, we can ask forgiveness of those we have hurt, forgive ourselves for those actions, and resolve to do better.

Then as we seek forgiveness, members of the community can show grace. In the last election, Florida changed the law prohibiting felons from ever voting again to allowing them the franchise. Floridians embraced forgiveness and grace by giving people a second chance at being good citizens. Citizens of many states are allowing their officials to forgive and expunge the records of those convicted of marijuana possession or other minor drug crimes in order to open up opportunities for employment.

Unfortunately, Justice Kavanaugh did not exhibit humility thus precluding grace. Instead, he reminded me of those times as a lawyer when I appeared in front of judges who did not acknowledge their own power and behaved like him. I can tell you that those experiences are not fun. The high value we place on judicial demeanor is well-placed. If those on the bench do not have the humility to acknowledge that they might be in the same situations as those who appear in front of them, if they are unable to evaluate the circumstances with compassion, they run the risk of abusing their power.

Now, many have attested that Justice Kavanaugh never behaved on the bench as he did in the Senate hearing. That is good news. However, his behavior in that moment when he was under pressure showed a lack of humility and ethical maturity.

Those of us watching can use Kavanaugh’s misstep as an opportunity to reflect on those places where we fail to show humility and restraint. We can take a small act of moral courage and admit to ourselves and others as appropriate where we fell short of the mark. And, we can seek to develop ethical maturity by continuing to set the trajectory of our life toward living into values of principled living and justice instead of self-serving actions and self-justifying excuses. The cumulative effect of those small acts of moral courage may be the creation of a more humane community for all.